OlderWiserWomen

We frequently receive questions from members and when we can we answer them in “Celebrations, the official newsletter for OlderWiserWomen. In the latest edition, this question and answer were posted with an invitation for readers to add their own answers. If you have a comment, feel free to post it below.

I’m a VERY YOUTHFUL 41 year old woman. I work with women that are in their twenties and thirties that are unhappy with their bodies and their lives. I receive compliments everyday from the men on our jobs and when these women hear the compliments, they’ll make comments like “so and so looks good {for her age}…referencing to someone that we know that is in her forties and older. Most of the time, I can just ignore them, but there are other times that I want to say something to them but don’t. I would really love a comeback for when they start with these “old” comments. Any suggestions?

My favorite answer to statements I get is “This is what [insert your age] looks like”. I use it all the time.

If readers have any other suggestions, leave a reply below.

Well it’s finally official…those of us who are single can be happy too! For years many women have been plagued by the notion that we “had” to be attached to someone in order to find happiness in life. I’m starting to see studies published that say “not so!”. Here is one article that addresses not only the issue of women being alone, but our financial future as well…..

========

“Single women are doing OK, AARP survey finds”

Single women of a “certain age” used to be considered almost pathetic. Whether widowed, divorced, or never married, the older woman was perceived as being lonely and financially insecure.

Well, the stereotypes are wrong.

The AARP polled more than 2,500 women aged 45 and older for its AARP Foundation Women’s Leadership Circle Study. The results, says AARP author Sarah Mahoney, indicate that older women are in a much better place than thought.

For one thing, while having a “significant other” is still important to many single women, it is no longer key to their happiness. Eighty-one percent polled said they were comfortable with the prospect of being alone as they age.

You can read the entire article here.

I recevied a commentary this morning regarding women’s natural aging vs not allowing oneself to age nautrally. I was unaware of the woman and her book who took aim at women with “waddle necks” and aging, who felt that we, as women should not let ourselves “go”.
Personally I very much enjoyed reading the commentary, it was like a breath of fresh air.

You’ll find the commentary at: Women’s eNews. Nora Ephron’s sour dislike of what she considers women’s bodily aging, one subject of her new bestseller, took up an hour on NPR last month. Margaret Morganroth Gullette responds from what she calls “the feminist country of later life.”

“Self-assurance beats Botox for smoothing a wrinkled brow. It lasts longer, and you can give it to yourself.”

A quote from the April issue of “O Magazine”.

Many remember Gail Sheehy as the author of Passages, written many years ago. Last month she published her new book, Sex and the Seasoned Woman. She states there is “a, new universe of lusty, liberated women, some married and some not, who are unwilling to settle for the stereotypical roles of middle age.”

She has interviewed a few hundred women, reporting the results here. The results should not be too much of a surprise to OlderWiserWomen…many of us are still having sex!

The book is not about sexual techniques or really sex at all. It’s more about empowering women to reclaim that part of their lives, about the possiblities that lay ahead, and an attempt to dispell some of the sterotypes that abound about women of a certain age.

I get these daily (M-F) quotes sent directly to my email from The Universe. I absolutely love them. More often than not, they pull me back so that I fly off again…this time in the correct direction.

Here is the one that came today:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With the vista of a new year still dawning, is it my imagination, Barbara, or is someone out there forgetting that the “hows” are my domain? That when it comes to manifesting change, their real job is to focus upon the end result. And that simply doing what they can, with what they’ve got, from where they are, will always be enough to move heaven and earth?

I didn’t think so.

The Universe
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Go and visit The Universe for your own free thoughts. You will love them!

The Happy Wednesday Broadcast is a wonderful mid-week boost. Every week, Joanie Winberg sends out a quick quote with some thoughts or tips that quote. Very inspiring and uplifting.

This week, yours truly and OlderWiserWomen were featured with a quote and thought! How fun it was to listen too!

Take a listen to Happy Wednesday. And if you are not a subscriber, consider doing so…you will not be sorry.

Barbara C. Phillips, NP

I think this is an important poem. Apparently so did Nelson Mandella when he read it during his 994 inaugural speech. (Thank you Jeanette Cates for bringing it to my attention.)

So…read it and then really think about it…..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,
our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, ‘who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented, fabulous?’

Actually who are you NOT to be?

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightening about shrinking
so that others won’t feel unsure around you.

As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
give others permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

~Marianne Williamson
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now ask yourself these questions:

• Without fear, who would you be?
• Without fear, where would you be?
• Without fear, what would your life look like?
• Without fear, what would you have done?

Is fear worth the cost?

Go out today and so something that makes you a bit fearful and allows you to be just a bit more powerful. Make sure you celebrate your results.

Think big, bold, beautiful and bodacious!

Namaste,

Barbara C. Phillips, NP
OlderWiserWomenâ„¢
ActingYourAge: A Guide for Women who Refuse to Go Over-the-Hill!

This morning I woke thinking about how things in my life are going. And I noticed very clearly that overall, what I believe will happen, happens. Not always on my time frame, but it does occur.

There was a time in my life when my thoughts were not very positive. And you know what…I was always right! If I believed I would not get something, I didn’t. If I knew xyz would not work, it didn’t. I was 100% correct.

Somewhere along the line though, I started changing my mind and tried to look at the positive aspects of life. It did not happen when everyone around me was trying to make it happen…it happened when I finally “got it”. I found that I was right again…and this time joyously right! My life has been on an upward spiral since. Some may not think so (ie, I left my job), but what they don’t realize…it’s what I wanted!

Do you get a daily dose of wisdom from the Universe? If you don’t, please do sign up (they are free and right on). Between this and my Power Thought cards, I’m usually set to start the day.

Change your thoughts…you will still be correct, only this time you will be happier.

Barbara C. Phillips, NP
OlderWiserWomen