Baby Boomers. We started appearing in 1945 and the last of us was born in 1964. That puts me, born in 1955, right smack in the middle of the pack. I am one of millions of men and women who turn 50 this year…in my case, last week. So I’m not alone.
But wait…I am alone. It’s a very personal thing to turn 50. So many questions have come up.
- When did that happen?
- Where did all the years go?
- What is left in my life?
- Who am I and what does that mean?
- Am I the woman I thought I would be at 50? Who do I want to become?
- What’s next?
- Is there another membership card other than the AARP?
I’m the oldest child in my family. My mother jokingly says she’s not old enough to have a daughter who is half a century old. My brother sends me a card telling me it’s all downhill from here. At least my son thinks it’s kind of neat. The only people who really tell me that the best years are here are other women who are already 50 or older.
But what does this all mean to me? I never knew if I would reach 50. Not because of health problems or dangerous living, but because of genetics. My father died at age 47 and two of my sister before age 40. I was unable to “feel” my way here. Yet, here I am.
I’ve been trying to sort out what it feels like to have turned 50. I find that even speaking about it out loud is a bit difficult…partially because I’m still exploring what it means. It wasn’t too long ago that a woman over 29 never told her age. While I will admit to feeling a moment’s hesitation, for the most part, that has passed. On a recent trip, I was asked if I wanted the AARP discount. Huh? How did they know?
So, just what is it like to turn 50? I figure I have the entire year to find out and to grow into being 50. For now, I feel as if I have arrived. I feel more authentic. I have more autonomy and confidence than ever. While I get to be an adult now, the child in me gets to hand out and play…all with no excuses. And although there is some wisdom to be found, I’m confident I’ll discover lots more in the coming years.
In the meantime…I will celebrate and give thanks for my life, work on my list of things to do and accomplish before I leave this divine life, and continue to define and refine the woman I have become and am becoming.